doubt

do I possess the heart of a believer

     or does belief possess my mind

conviction vs affliction

     so no peace for mine

this is my civil conflict

     left side vs right

I feel there is a creator

     what do I know of this creator     

what is my 'truth' 

     the one I was taught of course

dogma and doctrine to compliment feeling

     felt in my gut

that god is good

     lately my mind ticks like a scientist

my heart beats with the believers

     but they say I am wrong to question the unquestionable

recorded tradition

     cascaded instructions

preserved revelation

     whispered through years

what was it Common said..

     'koran and the bible, to me they all vital and got truth within them'

hindus have truth

     sikhs have truth

rastas have truth

     and what is their common thread

all claim to be the keepers

     maybe ‘truth’ was scattered like seed

flourishing according to the soil

     I've come to value my doubt

my desire to inquire

     rationalise and verify

a (critical) mind is a terrible thing to waste

     the conviction of atheism is faith misplaced

so I reconcile my faith

     with my doubt

and wait.

an old elephant in the room

 

http://officialdarkgirlsmovie.com/

I admit that the term 'Light skin' is not to blame. By itself it represents nothing more than what it describes: a lighter shade of skin. Although it makes no judgements we have somehow found ourself in a position where skin tone has become a kind of currency. 'Light skin' is the elected gold standard, the coveted cultural capital that is more valuable than its darker counterpart. 

It is no secret within black and Asian communities that there are many who see a greater beauty in fairer skin. This openly spoken preference is a blessing for those born fortunate. But for many born with dark skin, it is an imperfection to be fixed with soaps and creams.

Self proclaimed 'teacher' Vybze Kartel surprised his fans when he radically transformed his appearance bleaching his dark brown skin toan opaque yellow. The successful reggae artist is far from alone in his dedication to 'the love of light skin'. Recognising that this lpreference equates to a lucrative market Vybz turned this strange aspiration of our people into a brand, peddling his 'Cake Soap' at 'Best Choice Pharmacy'.

Perhaps the highest profile torch bearer for this sad state of affairs is the departed Michael Jackson. Die hard fans of the posthumous king of pop will no doubt argue that his white skin and features were the result of medical conditions. But seriously.. are we to believe that a man so obsessed with self image somehow ended up with the skin, nose and hair of a European by coincidence.

I believe that this social phenomenon I describe has roots that run deeper than you might think. The preference for light skin is so deeply embedded in the cultural dna that I expect that for many it is an unconscious desire. The prevalence of skin bleaching in many ethnic communities is a consequence of a whitewashed concept of beauty. This vision is not random; I see it as a legacy of colonialism.

Contemporary western culture bears the legacy of an age when the world bowed to the feet of its European conquerors. A friend once put it like this: the United States is the daddy, it tells the world what is right, what is wrong, what is cool and what is wretched. It's Grandparent however is literally 'mother England', otherwise known as the British Empire.

A purposeful greed, free of moral constraints allowed the British to stake out their global empire. But they are far from alone in their track record of blood soaked conquest. The Spanish and the Dutch for example also carved up and controlled countries across Africa to Asia to South America. Outside of Europe the Arabs also have a shameful chapter in world history that saw them facilitating the slave trade long after the British had come correct and abolished it. 

Incidentally all the antagonists in my examples share the common characteristic of fair skin. Somehow this same fair skin has become a twisted aspiration amongst many of a darker hue.

The conquest of the English led to the biggest empire the world has ever seen. At it's peak, the British empire had a grip on one one fifth of the worlds population. The expression "The sun never sets on the British Empire" basically referred to the audacious scope of the dominance. From Jamaica to Palestine, as the world turned, somewhere on the planet a British subject was wide awake, subjugated.

This is a global paradox, from India to Kenya to Brazil the closer your complexion to white skin, the closer you resembled the people who orchestrated and maintained your subjugation.

Growing up I observed a strange thing, on one hand my parents were proud Ghanaians but on the other they displayed an open reverence for their British/ English identities. My mother especially was profoundly endeared to the the epitome of all things British: The incestuous royal family. This is Anglophelia ("A great admiration for England and things English) and in my experience it is a common complex amongst the sons and daughters of the emancipated colonies. My Father once said (half in jest I hope) that Ghana was a lot better off when the British were in charge.

Now let us follow this trajectory through to the modern era and it is no surprise that a media that defines what is beautiful, overtly and slyly promotes a dominant image of European features. Those who own TV and print (the execs at the top of the media empires) have their own aesthetic preference, what economists call 'taste'. An example of this is media mogul Rupert Murdoch and his hands on approach to his numerous media ventures. His taste and values cascade down and are pumped through TV screens, magazines and radio. Saturated in images of European beauty we grow up indoctrinated and 'freely' claim these images as our preference.. the cycle continues.

When I use the expression 'elephant in the room' I am referring to the issues that we as so called 'ethnic minorities' have with complexion. It is tackled in a recent documentary brought to my attention http://officialdarkgirlsmovie.com/ 

This may come as a surprise to some however this documentary is no revelation for many. As far back as I can remember my generation has always been bare faced in it's veneration of light skin. From the omnipresent token ethnic in the TV shows that tend to be of a lighter complexion to the reckless rapper's and their dehumanizing terms (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcDpxF1-Z8I). As far as I can remember this has always been the case, the preference for light skin is closer to a norm than it is to a taboo.

Ultimately it is a sad state of affairs when self esteem is grounded and wrapped up in self image. So called good looks are as fickle as a snowflake. If self worth is invested in this perishable good of 'good looks', a bad ending is inevitable. This documentary sheds light (no pun) on this problem within the ethnic minority communities, whatever its roots are the attitudes that surround it need to change.The light skin/ dark skin debate is not the bigger issue for me, we place too much value in how we look, idolizing those who look a certain way. I think its an issue that is rightly acknowledged but the woman in this documentary seem like they are indulging a role as victims. Ironically it can be argued that they're attitudes are a part of the problem. 

Book review: Evolution of a revolutionary

a rough draft, mi soon nice it up

strange Fruit

flesh of peach
     like muscle wrapped 'round bones that frame a soul

a peach spoils
     flesh rots
the seed cracks
     awake
something emerges
     feeling its way
marching relentless
     possessed by purpose
nourished by light and liquid
      a force of nature
a force through nature
      the same that manifests in love
and decay
    
I propose
     this force drove and consumed tupac
same force mandela tamed and made peace
     my mistakes are many
and they incline to repeat
     repetition the father of learning
so mine must be complete

     when shall I bear fruit