Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Ebb and flow

Something in my cave
plays a vital part.

These pieces of a man
on base 
layed as a child. 

Mind's a tool that can enslave;
habitual habits chains.

Gut 
feels the keys to all that's right, 
same keys for what is broken.

Scattered 'round the cave,
remains of dead endeavours.
Seeds of hope; dormant dreams;
nebulous plans and mangled schemes.

Ghosts
of the shadow
as deep as my marrow.

Tightly pulling strings in the present state of things.

The teased and the tease,
whose cheek the teacher would squeeze.
A seeker duly learns
kowledge is its own reward.

To doubts what was
lets you renew what is.
I remember dreams a ghost dreamt;
did this child really exist..

Worlds apart, we are close as kin.

The ebb comes and goes,
soul afloat in the flow.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

While my Mood sharply swings

Death and the dream
Seems I still fleet in between
Up and down this stream I float
I breath between extremes

location
a: a wretched place
b: would be euphoric rush
chronic journeys back and forth
dust in wind that cannot set
I visit each but cannot stay
conceited thoughts whisper..

Am I
the chef of my portion
or a shell of channeled forces
A player with such power
or at the mercy of my cards

I am
Innocence distorted
The sum of much endured
The receiver of much blessings squandered of my own accord

And so I tell myself must take the rough with a smile
with caution accept the smooth
because taste can deceive
the situation cloaked sweet
turned peak in a flash
quick as a blink
sugar to shit.

But embedded in that heap
concealed seeds
from the shit hope grows
tomorrows sweet rose

Monday, 16 April 2012

Hell and back pt 1

man raises his goblet
savors the moment
a pause for a whiff
then proceeds without caution

an angel appointed heard pants between sips
unmoved by the greed
man smacks his cracked lips

angel eyes the concoction
henny the choice poison
a drink to drown sorrow
or bring truth to the open
man gulps
leant back
he falls
descends
he floats
his watch- 
hands froze
It begins..

surroundings transform
walls vaporise
he begins to freefall
feels temperature rise
the pace; blinding
tears to his eyes
as panic takes hold
with the grip of a vice

Snapshots of buried memories..
as he falls they rise
marbles on concrete
A moment in time
lost ones
loved ones
the promises made,
debts yet paid
time spent wasted away

for a grudge: a regret
the pride once held dear
now feels like rope
round his throat
choked.

Chest heaves
breath squeezed by the agony's terror
The angel observes calm not lifting a feather..

Thursday, 15 March 2012

my greatest enemy

stuck.
unsure
I tread
endure
another long day
clinging to this faith
that everything must change
nothing stays the same
but my heart sits still
a clod of wet clay

'pick your self up'
breath in
exhale
lift..
but strength folds
fail.
hard to hustle dead weight
he who holds me down
I know him well
lips bound in a frown
so I dip
introspect
reflect on my reflection
'he is I I am him'
my enemy
within



Monday, 5 March 2012

books> film?

Does a story pack more punch when told on the silver screen?



A copy of the help was given to me by my sister- it looked interesting enough, but I put it amongst the heap of books collecting dust at the back of my mind.
My exposure to the help might have ended there, but fate had other ideas. The stars conspired with my old lady and somehow- someway I found myself sitting down watching the film adaption.

By the end of it I sat  humbled pie, by the type of sentimentality I foolishly thought beneath me. Granted,  I was told that 'the help' would make me cry (first in a tweet courtesy of @unclerush and then later in a shrewd prophecy from my old lady). On both occasions, I dismissed the nonsense and so I went into this movie with my usual cynicism.

How was it then that I found myself wiping a tear (or two) over the lives of the imaginery characters of "the Help"?

I have never had the desire to read a book once I have seen the movie. It has never seemed worth the effort until now.

Playing my own advocate, I propose it's not so different from watching a football game even though you already know the result. Chaps still take the time to sit through match of the day because of the the qualitive experiance of watching the play. The silk skills, the drama when two players square off make up the little details that the quatitive result alone, cannot convey.

It's the little things that amount to the experience that bring a result to life- for most of us the "experiance" is all we care for.


Back to the "the Help"; my initial sceptism towards it was based on it's sweet smell of  "chick lit". Also, a cursary glance left me with the impression of a knock off "Colour purple"- this was an insult to the classic surely?

I knew from reading the summary that it was set in deep south America at a time when  racial segregation was legislated through the Jim crow laws. Blacks languished at the bottom of the social hierarchy, typically stuck in menial jobs. I wont give too much away but one of the many narratives follows the story of a white journalist raised by her family's black housemaid.

After studying away from home she returns to her small town with an open mind that has outgrown the prejudices of  friends and family. By fate a working arrangement turns into friendships and then into an activism that challenges the entrenched racism of her piers.

Like all great art 'the help' is a representation of life that evokes laughter and tears- shame and pride. It's an inspiring story where the ugliness of social iniquity is humbled by the might of a gracious pen.

I cannot recommend this movie enough- it's a bold statement but I think its a movie that everyone can take something from.

Onto the title of this blog- books or films, which is best?

Its an unfair question in a way because it's impossible to objectively take in a story, after it has already been conveyed in a different medium. Depending on which one you consume first, your perspective on the latter is distorted by the yardstick created by the first exposure.

I have experienced this in a few of the books that I have read where there is a corresponding movie. 'The Sicilian' by Mario Puzo was a book I loved when I was younger. It had the Mafia life I first came across in the godfather where characters were described so intimately you felt you personaly knew them.

By the end of the book it was real anger I felt at the betrayal and real sadness I felt for the tragedy. However that level of emotional attachment was not there when I watched the movie- the actors on screen did not measure up to pictures I had painted in my head.

Another example I read recently is an intense spy novel  called 'The little drummer girl' (John le Carre). Set to the backdrop of the struggle between Palestinian terrorists/ freedom fighters (depending on which side of the fence you are on) and Israel's secret service, it gives the reader a meticulous insight into both sides of the conflict. Another exceptional book that didn't translate well when turned into a film due to a massive loss of detail, and the whole tone of story being changed by the watering down.

On the other hand 'There will be blood' and 'The departed' are two of my favourite movies of all time. The first thing that springs to mind when I think about what made them great for me was the quality of the acting. I expect that they are also fine books but would the films have struck a cord so strongly had I read them as books- I expect so but I cannot honestly say.

Books are dear to me, they usually leave a deeper footprint than the films I have seen but a part of me also believes that a great film satisfies in ways that only a film can.

The mediums of expression are many: I have read graphic novels that have moved me (V is for Vendetta, Watchmen), I have watched emotional cartoons ( Disney's 'Up', 'Full Metal Alchemist') and I have sat through inspiring documentaries (HBO's Koran by heart, Bobby Fischer against the world). There is a tendency to put books on a pedestal, above all other forms of information. The truth is that style and content does not discriminate when it manifests in great art.

I am simply satisfied any time I have the fortune to come across good art that carries a good message.












Saturday, 24 December 2011

doubt

do I possess the heart of a believer
     or does belief possess my mind

conviction vs affliction
     so no peace for mine
this is my civil conflict
     left side vs right

I feel there is a creator
     what do I know of this creator     
what is my 'truth' 
     the one I was taught of course

dogma and doctrine to compliment feeling
     felt in my gut
that god is good

     lately my mind ticks like a scientist
my heart beats with the believers
     but they say I am wrong to question the unquestionable

recorded tradition
     cascaded instructions
preserved revelation
     whispered through years

what was it Common said..


hindus have truth
     sikhs have truth
rastas have truth

     and what is their common thread
all claim to be the keepers
     maybe ‘truth’ was scattered like seed
flourishing according to the soil

     I've come to value my doubt
my desire to inquire
     rationalise and verify

a (critical) mind is a terrible thing to waste
     the conviction of atheism is faith misplaced

so I reconcile my faith
     with my doubt
and wait.