doubt

do I possess the heart of a believer

     or does belief possess my mind

conviction vs affliction

     so no peace for mine

this is my civil conflict

     left side vs right

I feel there is a creator

     what do I know of this creator     

what is my 'truth' 

     the one I was taught of course

dogma and doctrine to compliment feeling

     felt in my gut

that god is good

     lately my mind ticks like a scientist

my heart beats with the believers

     but they say I am wrong to question the unquestionable

recorded tradition

     cascaded instructions

preserved revelation

     whispered through years

what was it Common said..

     'koran and the bible, to me they all vital and got truth within them'

hindus have truth

     sikhs have truth

rastas have truth

     and what is their common thread

all claim to be the keepers

     maybe ‘truth’ was scattered like seed

flourishing according to the soil

     I've come to value my doubt

my desire to inquire

     rationalise and verify

a (critical) mind is a terrible thing to waste

     the conviction of atheism is faith misplaced

so I reconcile my faith

     with my doubt

and wait.